swamped with work and life... aka the return from boston

this is just a super-quick post to let y'all know i haven't forgotten... i'll be updating SOON SOON SOON on wam! and the super-awesomeness therein.


what a great time! met some cool people and basked in some fantastic discourse.


i'm uber-eager to give you my take on things, as well as recount strange tales from the cambridge marriott, lol. work has me playing mega-catchup, however, and that has to take precedence a ce moment.


anyway, just wanted to give a brief shout out and promise of women, action and the media goodness! cheers!

anxiety rears its ugly head again...

i don't know why i cycle this way, but it seems that every time i start to pay more attention to my blog, and keep up with everything i inevitably freak out and can't post for about a week or so. and i know i missed a lot last week.


i didn't get to participate in the protest against judge deni for her horrid 'theft of services' ruling and her reelection (which she freaking WON), four of the jena six went into court for pre-trial, complete with nationwide protests, my company got bought by some large corporate giant which means i could lose my job, ENDA's transphobic version passed in the house, my roommate tried to fight some guy for groping me in the bar, and i went on a pretty cool date.



i also have had multiple panic attacks lately due to my doctor changing my meds yet again, and it's taken me about 4 days just to type this tiny bit of info. and now i'm stopping, because i can't handle typing any more. i'm so mad at myself, and i'm sorry for being so negative about life. keeping up with a blog shouldn't feel like work, but for some reason lately it does. hopefully my meds will even out and this will become a passion again.

whatever happened to julie ruin?

lately i've been feeling nostalgic for the riot grrls of yesteryear.

queercore is practically mainstream nowadays, and it kinda takes the fun and subversive nature out of gay punk/indie music. queer punk is suffering from the same downfall of original punk music... with notoriety and publicity comes a sort of grudging recognition and acceptance. which is exactly what punk tries NOT to achieve. rebelling ceases to exist when it's done en masse. don't get me wrong, i'm not saying it's a bad thing that queer rock has made its mark, it's fantastic! that's a central goal (among others, of course) of the marginalized, right? to get your voice heard, make some changes, stir up issues, shift the current ways of thinking? it makes me smile to turn on a radio station and hear, say, tegan & sara.

BUT I WANT MORE.

it's queer-lite nowadays, if you will. what next? where has the spark gone? issues haven't quelled, but the diy spirit kinda has. sure, there are some great groups out there today, such as scream club, boyskout, girl in a coma and the dead betties. but they don't come around here. hiding in the safeland of the west coast and vancouver, if they tour, they skip right over detroit and hide away in nyc.

NOT VERY SUBVERSIVE OF YOU.

those little 80s/90s homocore pioneers traveled all over and would play wherever to just get heard. groups today have it much easier and seem to only be playing where it's comfortable. how un-punk.

and how unfair to these groups that fought for you to even get gigs. i want some riotous, angry, fun, tongue-in-cheek, black eye-inducing, laugh-out-loud, fuck your mother, 'recruit them all' queer kind of music! and i know i'm not alone. where are the pansy divisions, bikini kills, hedwigs, team dresches, and vaginal creme davises of today? staying away from the midwest, for sure... my little homo heart is aching for some REVOLUTION! and if you're one of these groups scared of big, bad michigan ~ you can all crash at my place, i'll book you and show you it's not so bad.

let me end this short little rant with the lyrics from classic bikini kill song by ms julie ruin herself, kathleen hanna. this track is called 'i like fucking':

Hey! do you believe there's anything

Beyond troll guy reality?

I do, I do, I do

It gets so hard

Just to be okay

Sometimes being happy baby

Is what I'm most afraid of

Baby, you know,

It gets so hard for me to fight

I don't know how

I guess I never did

Why don't you show me how

How to lose control?

She's so very, 'I don't care'

Just cuz my world, sweet sister

Is so fucking goddamn full of rape

Does that mean my body must always be

a source of pain?

No, no, no

She's so very 'I don't care.'

Just cuz I named it right here sweet Chickadee

Don't mean for a minute you should think

I'm opposite of anything

But if you wanna know for sure I'll tell you

We're not gonna prove nothing nothing

Sittin around watching each other starve

What we need is action/strategy

I want, I want, I want

I want it now

I believe in the radical possibilities of pleasure, babe

I do, I do, I do