so spitzer's resigning... thank gods!

... but does that remedy the situation? i mean, the man's been dubbed the new eliot ness, for chrissake, and he's rumored to have charged over $80,000 in prostitution charges! i'm so sick of the hypocrisy!!! and what's the allure of paying $4,300 a session for sex? i just don't understand it. not to mention what kind of sleaze gets into an argument with a prostitute about her insistence upon clean sex? now i'm not trying to pass judgement on the type of sex that people choose (or choose not) to have, but unprotected sex, especially when you're very obviously committing adultery and have multiple partners, is just idiotic and dangerous. charge that jerk already and get him outta the headlines. i'm already sick of reading/hearing/etc. about it.

horseshit.

so i've been incredibly busy lately, living, working, being social and trying my best to bask in the glow of my beautiful lady. i've had some really shitty luck, with my bank account being hacked (to the tune of more than $1000 in fraudulent charges) to losing my cell phone, which, if you know me, is basically my lifeblood. everything i am is unfortunately tied to that stupid piece of electronic equipment.

in other words, blogging hasn't been a priority. for that, i apologize.

so i had decided to insert a little photo journal of my past few weeks for y'all to peruse and mock when i looked over to the side of my page where i have a blogrush account. (if you're interested, PLEASE link from my page and get the word out!) the top blog entry listed therein was titled 'pick up women online.' and if you're really sickly fascinated, here's the link.


and what does this 'genius' nico have to say about women? well, all you have to do is watch the first thirty seconds of the video to realize that he's an absolute total douchebag, from his knit skullcap that's adorably emblazoned with the word 'hung' to his tacky orange tie-dyed tee to his long greasy hair and the fact that he's BROADCASTING FROM THE FRONT SEAT OF HIS CAR AS HE RUNS HIS ERRANDS. maybe i'm just a bitch, but there was definitely a sadistic part of me that was secretly hoping he'd crash as we travel with him to pick up his mail, run to the bank, etc. his advice to men is full of all sorts of lovely gems, including the diamond that women are like racehorses, among many other pearls of wisdom.

fyi: 80% of all of his hookups were the first night... and the rest were all the second or third date. who wants to bet he never had a callback, lol? ugh. so who's with me on flooding this idiot's email with all sorts of hate mail? huzzah!

how desperate do you have to be...

to disrespect someone's body in this way?



real life is NOT 'weekend at bernie's,' people. this story broke my heart and turned my stomach at the same time. who wheels a dead man's body down the street to cash their social security check? the audacity!



of course, the deceased man was a senior citizen (albeit a young one at 66.) yet another example of blantant disregard for mature people in this country. they're only good for their monthly checks.



i need another cup of coffee, and maybe a shotgun. *grumble grumble*

dream interpretations, anyone? bueller... bueller?

i had this horrendous dream the other night, and i thought i'd share:




i'm in a car with a group of friends, all of whom happen to be lesbians. a straight white male cop pulls us over, and proceeds to make some homophobic and sexist remarks. (i can't recall what exactly he said.) so i'm apparently feeling brave, because i lean forward from the back seat and snarkily ask "could you repeat that? 'cause all i heard was lawsuit, lawsuit, lawsuit." guffaws and smirks abound... until he asks me to step out of the car. i climb out of the back seat. the cop grabs me, puts me in handcuffs and forces me to my knees in the snow. at this point, i'm somewhat out of view of my friends. the officer begins to fondle me and take off my clothes, telling me i shouldn't be hanging out with these dykes. i respond that i'm 'one of these dykes,' and he says he's gonna fuck the gay out of me. (side note: i've heard this phrase so many times, in real life, and it never ceases to scare the shit out of me.) he removes his clothes and begins to rape me. i scream, and in a strange dream perspective shift, i see all of the girls trying to get out of the car. somehow, another cop is there, holding them back at gunpoint. then i'm back in my own body, yet still watching myself. i'm crying, staring straight ahead and trying to think of what to do. the only thought that comes to me is to vomit, so i do, all over the man and myself. i hope it will make him stop, but it doesn't. the idea that now this man will have a roman shower fetish enters my head. i know that the officer is a serial rapist and his thirst for violence will only increase. it ends. i'm suddenly alone on my knees in the snow, covered in vomit. my friends run up to me, and i'm screaming and crying and won't let them touch me. i'm completely embarrassed, and begin throwing snow all over myself, to wash off the vomit, cum and blood that has been seeping from my nose and mouth. (at some point the officer had hit me in the face, i think after i threw up.) i become even more embarrassed as i'm rubbing the snow over me, because i realize i look completely insane, and i know they don't understand that the snow will make me clean, and that's why i'm covering myself with it. eventually, one of the girls picks me up and carries me to the car, totally vulnerable and exposed.





any takers on what this means? it was such a graphic and disturbing dream. i should also mention that the friends in the dream are all new. i met a whole crew through someone new that i'm dating. i think that's from where the apprehension and embarrassment stems. has anyone else had rape dreams?

why the eff is this so common?!?

a grey, ice-filled day greeted my feet this morning as i walked out the door on about 3 hours of drunken sleep. my hair's in a greasy side ponytail, and i dressed in the dark: dickies, pink chucks, a tattoo-printed tee and slim blue cardigan. makeup free and glasses-adorned, i am looking almost as great as i feel, lol. pathetic.





so i'm hunched over my computer, blearily staring at the screen, unable to focus on anything work-related. i start randomly surfing the net, something i haven't done much of lately, and i come across this article from texas. as if i couldn't feel any worse.





gods, this 21 year-old guy was a substitute teacher for THREE WEEKS, and was already busted for having sex with a 14 year-old girl in a parking lot! he went and pulled her out of class and lured her into his car to assault her! when the girl broke down in class the next week, they arrested him. he actually had the nerve to claim that the sex was consensual! the school system said he passed their background check. it really makes me wonder what kind of checks they do. i've never been a substitute teacher, so i haven't a clue. has anyone ever seen the criteria required? i'm guessing no felonies? anyone?





what really got to me, and maybe it's just exhaustion, but not really, is that this story is ridiculously common. so common, in fact, it probably hasn't surprised a single one of the people that read or heard of it. and that's disgusting. people put in charge of our children should not be utilizing their positions of authority in such an immoral way. and the poor girl, in typical guilt-ridden victim style, had to be convinced that it wasn't her fault!




the power differential is inherent in any student-teacher relationship. students listen to their teachers, look up to them, fear and respect them. yet these people justify sexual relations with them? it sickens me. i'm all for free love between two consenting adults. have fun, do it however and whenever you want. any fetish that can be imagined has likely been tried more than twice. but dammit, CHILDREN ARE OFF LIMITS!!!!!!!! that shouldn't be something that even needs to be mentioned, and yet, time and again, they're victimized, and then shamed into believing it's their fault. and teachers, the people that society trusts to mold and shape young minds, should be particularly cognizant of that.




okay, so now i need to go calm down. i can't wait to get out of work and jump into some comfy pajamas and decompress. maybe i'll finish knitting a scarf, and try to pretend for an evening that the world isn't all kinds of fucked.

anxiety rears its ugly head again...

i don't know why i cycle this way, but it seems that every time i start to pay more attention to my blog, and keep up with everything i inevitably freak out and can't post for about a week or so. and i know i missed a lot last week.


i didn't get to participate in the protest against judge deni for her horrid 'theft of services' ruling and her reelection (which she freaking WON), four of the jena six went into court for pre-trial, complete with nationwide protests, my company got bought by some large corporate giant which means i could lose my job, ENDA's transphobic version passed in the house, my roommate tried to fight some guy for groping me in the bar, and i went on a pretty cool date.



i also have had multiple panic attacks lately due to my doctor changing my meds yet again, and it's taken me about 4 days just to type this tiny bit of info. and now i'm stopping, because i can't handle typing any more. i'm so mad at myself, and i'm sorry for being so negative about life. keeping up with a blog shouldn't feel like work, but for some reason lately it does. hopefully my meds will even out and this will become a passion again.

mitt romney is SUCH a sweetheart...oops, i mean homophobe

pink news has published this little gem about republican presidential candidate mitt romney. apparently, he's so against gay adoption that he'd rather have a child with deceased parents than gay ones. wtf?! romney says:

And even where one member of the partnership may pass away, the memory and the characteristics of that gender, of that partner influence the development of a child. I'm in favour of promoting, as a society, the marriage of men and women and the development of children in that kind of setting.


how sweet. so two, healthy, attentive, and loving parents of the same sex is WORSE for a child than dealing with the trauma of dead ones? riiiiiighht.

i can't wait for his hypocritical mormon ass to get beaten out of the primary, even if it is by some idiot like rudy giuliani...

i'm so tired of hatred being flaunted under the guise of religion. religion and faith have nothing to do with hatred, yet they're inexplicably bound. people seem to feel that faith can explain away any kind of bigotry. newsflash: your religion doesn't hate or condemn people, YOU do. stop misappropriating your discrimination, intolerance, and ignorance. i realize that it's easier to blindly follow a faith that gives you hope. but when it starts preaching mistrust and condemnation of others for simply being different than you, why do you not question it?

RIP Ian Guarr

sadly, i received this email this morning from triangle foundation, michigan's leading LGBTQ activist organization, and i thought i'd share:



Dear [name removed],

It is with a heavy heart that I share the tragic loss of one of our community's beautiful children. Ian Guarr, a 16-year old transgender young man from West Michigan, took his own life on Monday. The Guarr family have been staunch allies and good friends of Triangle Foundation from the beginning of their journey. Ian's mother Amy is a founder of TransYouth Family Advocates (http://imatyfa.org), a national organization addressing the issues facing transgender youth and a national partner of Triangle Foundation's Camping.OUT program.

Ian was one of my daughter Chloe's dearest friends. Ian was sensitive, thoughtful, brilliant, hilarious, and painfully shy. Our world is less bright without Ian's presence. Even with an amazingly supportive and loving family such as Ian had, the youth of our community face an incredibly difficult path. In the United States, every hour an LGBT youth commits suicide. The statistics for transgender youth are even more harrowing -- the attempted suicide rate is higher than 50%!

Ian's family did everything right. They loved, cared, and advocated for who Ian knew he really was –not just for who society wanted him to be. This community owes the Guarr family a debt of gratitude for all that they have done for Ian as well as for all transgender youth.

Triangle Foundation joins our friends at TransYouth Family Advocates and TransActive Education & Advocacy in once again renewing our commitment to working with and on behalf of transgender, gay, lesbian, bisexual and questioning youth who, like Ian, are struggling with a society that is often unwilling to accept them for the unique and beautiful people they are. Our work will continue until no young person feels that suicide is their only option.

Please join Triangle Foundation in sending our loving thoughts to Ian's family, loved ones, and the community which joins them in mourning his loss.

Sincerely,

Colette Beighley and the Triangle Foundation family

PS. Please reply to this email if you would like Triangle Foundation to pass a message along to Ian's family.

If you are, or you know, a young person thinking of suicide, please know that you are not alone and help is available. Contact The Trevor Project immediately at 1-888-488-7386 or visit www.thetrevorproject.org for help and more information.

good luck alex ~ and dubai can kiss my homo ass!

so i posted a lighthearted entry earlier today, thinking i wanted to stay away from anything too heavy. but then i read this, and all that changed.


dubai is famous for its decadence and overindulgence in all things worldly. the shopping there is said to be some of the best in the world, and money changes hands there in the billions. it's beautiful, extremely modern, and sleek. oh, and then apparently they outlaw homosexuality and deny raped teen males justice.


alex's attack is horrid. absolutely horrifying. first, he's taken out to the desert, threatened and raped by three different men and dumped in front of a hotel. add to being gang-raped by three different guys the fear and shame brought upon his family. mix in a doctor that won't do blood tests or a proper examination, accuses him of being gay, and then officially states that there was no evidence of forced assault.

"Then he cleared the room and told Alex: 'I know you’re a homosexual. You can admit it to me. I can tell.'"

top it all off with the fact authorities withheld for months information that one of the men is HIV positive!! thank gods his parents are strong enough and supportive enough to be fighting for prosecution. to avoid ARREST, (arrest for being raped!!!!) alex had to flee the country. i'm surprised he stayed as long as he did (he left a month into his 10th grade year at school; he'd been attacked on bastille day, july 14th) but he stayed in order to pursue prosecution. now he's been told that he could be sentenced to a year in jail. even typing that almost made me vomit.


and his alleged attackers? all three claim innocence, despite the fact that their sperm was found inside of alex. also interesting:

"United Arab Emirates law does not recognize rape of males, only a crime called 'forced homosexuality.'"

note how they are sure to mention homosexuality within the framework of wrongdoing, but not rape. because the real crime here is being gay, not sexually assaulting another human being.


UAE's government is indeed fucked up. this is the worst kind of double (at least) victimization. and unless they seriously change their judicial system, i'm sure things like this will continue. being gay is not a crime. rape victims are just that; victims. i don't think it's that difficult to understand. best of luck, alex ~ though i don't quite get that his attorney says he's looking for the death penalty for his attackers? *shakes head*

file this under wtf

okay. so any relief, regardless of how small, that may have been expressed at the final release of mychal bell from jail is now stricken. AP published this article after bell was brought in to court for what should've been a routine hearing on an unrelated case. this case shouldn't've had anything to do with the jena 6 proceedings, and it is true that it was never mentioned, but judge jp mauffrey was obviously sending a very clear, and very hate-mongering message when doling out an unwarranted 18 months incarceration for a probation violation. mauffrey is awe-inspiring in his steadfast pursuit of punishment to young black men that dare to challenge his skewed view of justice. i realize he's gotta be pissed that he was called out by the nation for his hatred, and he's apparently obsessed with sticking to his guns. keep punishing these boys, judge, and hopefully, you'll keep getting shot down. as for bell, let's hope this trumped-up scapegoat bullshit can FINALLY come to an end... sigh.

female underwear is vulgar... everyone should go commando in china!

This little news bite is simply DARLING. Hot on the heels of censoring idol-style reality shows for apparently giving youth "negative role models" (lmao!), chinese government has now decided to ban what they deem 'vulgar' ads. Their idea of vulgar includes breast enhancement and female underwear commercials. Because everyone knows those hanes her way ads are just for filthy, filthy whores. (just typing that makes me wanna watch one right now! i just might likes me some cotton brief wearing whores, heh heh heh) Interesting how there's no mention of men's underwear ads. Although their is a vague statement about the ban of 'sex-related health supplements' which to me screams 'viagra, ' but they don't specify gender there, of course.

Sarft [State Administration of Radio, Film and Television] said that adverts featuring suggestive language or scantily-clad women were "detrimental to society", Xinhua news agency reported.

if scantily clad women are a detriment, i don't wanna be an aid.
Guess those fruit of the loom guys can still get me hot, but forget those slutty trashy idol singers... they're BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDD.

so i accidentally hit the 'next blog' link...

i was all ready to enter a blog about accountability and abuse. after accidentally hitting the 'next blog' button as my phone rang (lol), i was totally accosted with this