horseshit.

so i've been incredibly busy lately, living, working, being social and trying my best to bask in the glow of my beautiful lady. i've had some really shitty luck, with my bank account being hacked (to the tune of more than $1000 in fraudulent charges) to losing my cell phone, which, if you know me, is basically my lifeblood. everything i am is unfortunately tied to that stupid piece of electronic equipment.

in other words, blogging hasn't been a priority. for that, i apologize.

so i had decided to insert a little photo journal of my past few weeks for y'all to peruse and mock when i looked over to the side of my page where i have a blogrush account. (if you're interested, PLEASE link from my page and get the word out!) the top blog entry listed therein was titled 'pick up women online.' and if you're really sickly fascinated, here's the link.


and what does this 'genius' nico have to say about women? well, all you have to do is watch the first thirty seconds of the video to realize that he's an absolute total douchebag, from his knit skullcap that's adorably emblazoned with the word 'hung' to his tacky orange tie-dyed tee to his long greasy hair and the fact that he's BROADCASTING FROM THE FRONT SEAT OF HIS CAR AS HE RUNS HIS ERRANDS. maybe i'm just a bitch, but there was definitely a sadistic part of me that was secretly hoping he'd crash as we travel with him to pick up his mail, run to the bank, etc. his advice to men is full of all sorts of lovely gems, including the diamond that women are like racehorses, among many other pearls of wisdom.

fyi: 80% of all of his hookups were the first night... and the rest were all the second or third date. who wants to bet he never had a callback, lol? ugh. so who's with me on flooding this idiot's email with all sorts of hate mail? huzzah!

i've so far shied away from it...

the horrendous trans* phobic media mishandling of a detroit native's murder a week and a half ago.


i've talked to friends about it, we've hashed and rehashed, all the tragedy, the bullshit, the ignorance, the loss. frankly, the idea of blogging it gave me a twinge of the shudders.




as coverage increases, so do the number of bigots and insensitive comments. and so it has to be discussed, and where better than the blogosphere?

refusing to release the victim's name is simply harmful to the community. is the family ashamed that their relative may be trans*? are they trying to honor hir by keeping the name out of the press? perhaps they're angered (and rightly so) that the police are continuing to refer to a murder victim as 'a man in women's clothing?' ugh ugh ugh. until we get more information, we'll never know...



the bottom line is, SOMEONE WAS SHOT IN THE HEAD IN A PARKING LOT. what sie was wearing is not the focus. bringing hir killer to justice should be the goal.



RIP

how desperate do you have to be...

to disrespect someone's body in this way?



real life is NOT 'weekend at bernie's,' people. this story broke my heart and turned my stomach at the same time. who wheels a dead man's body down the street to cash their social security check? the audacity!



of course, the deceased man was a senior citizen (albeit a young one at 66.) yet another example of blantant disregard for mature people in this country. they're only good for their monthly checks.



i need another cup of coffee, and maybe a shotgun. *grumble grumble*

anxiety rears its ugly head again...

i don't know why i cycle this way, but it seems that every time i start to pay more attention to my blog, and keep up with everything i inevitably freak out and can't post for about a week or so. and i know i missed a lot last week.


i didn't get to participate in the protest against judge deni for her horrid 'theft of services' ruling and her reelection (which she freaking WON), four of the jena six went into court for pre-trial, complete with nationwide protests, my company got bought by some large corporate giant which means i could lose my job, ENDA's transphobic version passed in the house, my roommate tried to fight some guy for groping me in the bar, and i went on a pretty cool date.



i also have had multiple panic attacks lately due to my doctor changing my meds yet again, and it's taken me about 4 days just to type this tiny bit of info. and now i'm stopping, because i can't handle typing any more. i'm so mad at myself, and i'm sorry for being so negative about life. keeping up with a blog shouldn't feel like work, but for some reason lately it does. hopefully my meds will even out and this will become a passion again.

good luck alex ~ and dubai can kiss my homo ass!

so i posted a lighthearted entry earlier today, thinking i wanted to stay away from anything too heavy. but then i read this, and all that changed.


dubai is famous for its decadence and overindulgence in all things worldly. the shopping there is said to be some of the best in the world, and money changes hands there in the billions. it's beautiful, extremely modern, and sleek. oh, and then apparently they outlaw homosexuality and deny raped teen males justice.


alex's attack is horrid. absolutely horrifying. first, he's taken out to the desert, threatened and raped by three different men and dumped in front of a hotel. add to being gang-raped by three different guys the fear and shame brought upon his family. mix in a doctor that won't do blood tests or a proper examination, accuses him of being gay, and then officially states that there was no evidence of forced assault.

"Then he cleared the room and told Alex: 'I know you’re a homosexual. You can admit it to me. I can tell.'"

top it all off with the fact authorities withheld for months information that one of the men is HIV positive!! thank gods his parents are strong enough and supportive enough to be fighting for prosecution. to avoid ARREST, (arrest for being raped!!!!) alex had to flee the country. i'm surprised he stayed as long as he did (he left a month into his 10th grade year at school; he'd been attacked on bastille day, july 14th) but he stayed in order to pursue prosecution. now he's been told that he could be sentenced to a year in jail. even typing that almost made me vomit.


and his alleged attackers? all three claim innocence, despite the fact that their sperm was found inside of alex. also interesting:

"United Arab Emirates law does not recognize rape of males, only a crime called 'forced homosexuality.'"

note how they are sure to mention homosexuality within the framework of wrongdoing, but not rape. because the real crime here is being gay, not sexually assaulting another human being.


UAE's government is indeed fucked up. this is the worst kind of double (at least) victimization. and unless they seriously change their judicial system, i'm sure things like this will continue. being gay is not a crime. rape victims are just that; victims. i don't think it's that difficult to understand. best of luck, alex ~ though i don't quite get that his attorney says he's looking for the death penalty for his attackers? *shakes head*

pride & prejudice, sans jane austen, pt 2

so i'll continue the saga...

after telling the uk court story, i ask bob if he can see the correllation between the two situations. he responds that the poor foster girl is a victim, and that the judge was wrong, but that the reason he was wrong is merely because she's a child. to him, the two dads that had begun our discussion are adults, and therefore cannot be victims. they have the ability to choose their license plate, and to him, shouldn't, because they're asking for trouble.

yep, those women and gays, they're just asking for it, by doing crazy things like buying vanity plates and wearing frilly underwear. they're just tempting those innocent hate-mongers to do something horrid to them. how dare they?!?

from there, the discussion quickly spiralled drainwards. i ask him how he can say that gays are asking for trouble by being themselves? he responds with a comment to which i must first add a little backstory.

a few years ago, joe & dan, aforementioned couple, came out to a party with a group of girls in our neighborhood. said party was fairly lame, so we all decided to trek the two blocks back to my apartment to hang out on our own. while walking back, an SUV stopped in the middle of the street and two large men jumped out, yelled they were 'looking for' joe & dan, and proceeded to assault them, unprovoked, on the sidewalk. it was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life, and i can't even begin to understand how much more difficult it was for them. neither of them had ever even been in a fight before, let alone the victims of violent gay bashing. discrimination prevailed every step they took, from the attitude of the police, who insisted joe & dan must've done something to provoke the attack, to the hours in the er, where we were shoved into a private holding room (we were told the blood was scaring the other people in the waiting area), to the fact that my witness statement was the only one counted as testimony, and later the reduction of sentencing to probation by the judge due to an incompetent public defender. never mind the fact that dan's mother is a lawyer and refused to help, and my (former) girlfriend's father asked us what they were doing to incite an attack ('were they holding hands?' he asked before proceeding to tell us to let that be a lesson to us to be careful and discreet in public.) not that it matters, but they weren't even walking next to one another. their only 'crime' was being gay on the sidewalk at 1 or so in the morning.

so this event is obviously one which had a great impact on my life, as well as mary's, as she was one of the people out with the crowd that evening, and has been friends with the two of them even longer than me. bob, having only known us for a short time, dares to respond to my statement about gays asking for trouble by saying

well, look what happened to . they got attacked for nothing. it just proves my point that gays need to watch out.

this was too much for me. i really felt he overstepped boundaries. i mean, how dare he blame two innocent people for getting beaten by some homophobic neanderthals? joe's nose was broken, and dan just missed going blind from a hit and cut right above his eye! and the whole time, mary just sat there, completely refusing to stick up for people she calls her best friends, all in the name of a steady piece of ass. i hit my limit. i excused myself, apologized for not being able to discuss it anymore, and walked out of the restaurant.

i haven't talked to bob since, and when i called mary a week later, she dared to tell me i should apologize to him because i left the restaurant! i told her i left because i was so hurt, and i didn't want them to see me cry. (which i did.) then i added that i couldn't believe she didn't at least stand up for joe & dan, because what bob was saying was wrong, and his thinking was total watercooler discrimination & homophobia. to which she promptly hung up on me.

you don't have to be throwing bricks through windows and beating random strangers to have prejudice. you don't have to be screaming nigger, faggot, slut, or kike to be discriminatory or putting others down for being who they are. hatred is not always obvious, in fact, it's usually just the opposite. it's ingrained in the straight, white, classist patriarchy of our society, and it's up to us to fish it out, identify, and eradicate it. is requires us each to look in the mirror and find that ugliness that may be glossed over and buried under layers of polite, politically correct ideals. it isn't nice, pretty, or simple. i'm losing close friends over this, but honestly, it's making me reevaluate my friendships in general. i'm not happy about it, but...

i just can't 'sit nice and be quiet' anymore.

pride and prejudice, sans jane austen, part one

okay, i'll get to it. i've been hella busy these last couple of weeks and haven't updated my blog in practically a millenium (re: two weeks.) but i must be honest and let y'all know i've been avoiding it. avoiding my own emotional turmoil over an incident that happened when i was at dinner the other night with a couple of friends. but it's been long enough now, and i hope i've gathered enough distance to recount the story accurately and without getting too upset by it. so here's what happened:
the three of us are at dinner, discussing our weeks, lives, etc. ~ average friendly dinner convo. now the other two, bob** and maryanne**, are coworkers that have upped the ante from close friends to dating (dangerous, i know, but that's a totally different tale.) they're still in that obnoxious lovey-dovey stage, and it's kinda cute in a nauseating way. so maryanne is talking about her parents and what they do for a living and she mentions that her mother works for an adoption agency. we talk about that a bit, and i ask about whether or not they approve gay adoptions. this obviously leads to a turn in topics, and bob mentions that he'd recently seen a minivan with a vanity plate that read: '2 dads.' i smiled and said that was awesome, and remarked that i was glad people were proud to state such things. the conversation then went (roughly) as such:

bob: i don't know....
me: you don't know what?
bob: it made me uncomfortable.
me: what made you uncomfortable?
bob: i don't know. i mean, i'm okay with gays and all, but i just don't think they should be so obvious.
me: how do you mean, obvious?
bob: well, people get beat up for stuff like that. i just think they should be careful. they're kind of asking to get beat up by being so obvious.
me: so you're saying gay people should hide.
bob: no
me: then what are you saying?
bob: i just think that there are a lot of people out there that don't like gays. someone could come along and see that and get really upset.
me: but if you say things like that, then you're basically saying that gay people should hide and not be who they are. we need people to do things like have pro-gay vanity plates to emphasize that it is okay to be gat parents. in fact, it's GREAT to be gay parents, and there's nothing wrong with that. saying those men shouldn't have those vanity plates is saying that what they're doing is wrong. that who they ARE is wrong. do you not see where that line of thinking progresses? it promotes homophobia and intolerance.
bob: but i'm not homophobic. i'm friends with you and joe** & dan**
me: 'but some of my best friends are black' is NOT a valid argument. society has the problem, not gay folk. you can't blame a victim, and when you say things like that, it's what you're doing.
bob: but society's not gonna change.
me: you really think that civil rights for gays aren't going to progress? blacks and women didn't have the right to vote, but now they do. i believe that in my lifetime we'll see progress and the furthering of gay rights, don't you?
bob: no. i think the country is going in the opposite direction.
me: and you're okay with that?
bob: uh...well...no...but...

the conversation escalated from there, with me reiterating the same points over and over again, and him continuing to state that gays will be beat up if they're too obvious.
~~ note that mary is extremely quiet during this whole discussion. mary's bisexual, and has had long term relationships with men and women, and has not piped up once, despite my repeated attempts to bring her into the discussion. she refused to state an opinion either way, because she was too scared to offend her new beau. ~~
i tried to take the entire conversation and put a similar situation into a different context. i began to discuss this court case that cara brought up last month at the curvature that made me cry with rage. i thought that by discussing that what a young girl is wearing and her background is no excuse for rape would resonate as discriminatory. i told him that the asshole judge in the case was blaming the girl for her attack, and that shaming gays into hiding who they are skirts the same thought lines.

i have to leave work now, so i'll publish the rest tomorrow

**not their real names

isn't prom night date rape HILARIOUS?!?

okay, so i realize that EVERYONE else in the free world has probably already seen this ad, but i just couldn't let it go.

O.

M.

G.

what in the hell does having your virginity stolen by some kid rock-looking trashball rapist have to do with selling ugly purses? and what genius asshole decided that this ad is actually okay?


nice job, timbuk2. i will officially NEVER buy your products, which have an amazing cult following, due to the QUALITY of their bags. the company began designing for bike messengers, and they're known for being long-lasting and durable. also, originating from bike messengers has given the company a general hipster street cred, as much as um, i don't know, PBR or chuck taylors. if they spent half as much time as they do designing their aesthetically challenged (to my taste, anyway) bags and put it toward assembling their marketing teams, maybe they wouldn't be pushing out heinous criminal offenses as viable advertising schemes.

or maybe the douchebags all raped their prom dates and somehow think it's okay, funny even. please.


***no offense meant to either the blue ribbon of beers or converse. i happen to enjoy both immensely *8~D